On Art for a Heavy Heart
There is so much pain in the world right now. I think it’s a mistake to assume that there hasn’t always been pain, that our time is exceptionally painful, but it is really, truly quite painful. Having been a therapist in these recent years I can tell you that it’s been rough going—COVID, Trump (twice!?), ICE, the rise of white nationalism, antisemitism, so many shootings, the atrocities in Gaza, the invasion of Ukraine, global climate change and weather disasters, the chipping away of the rights of trans people, women, immigrants, most everyone with some intersectional identity of marginalization.
And this is not an exhaustive list of all the reasons to feel grief right now. All the regular sadnesses persist too—loss, emotional ruptures, death—ongoing as usual.
Living With All This Pain
The question, then, in therapy and in life becomes: how does one live with all of this?
There are a lot of ways to answer this question, but I think one that’s becoming increasingly valuable and rare is by making art. Freud called this “defense” sublimation. To take a painful impulse and transform it into something socially positive. The “socially” part is especially important. Art is a way of communicating, of connecting. Art allows us to share with others part of our own, complex human experience, to convey our pain in a way that others can feel, too. The creative process and the resulting art doesn’t eliminate pain, but it does transform it into something shared between people, so that it does not have to be borne alone. And the consumption of art, the participation in art, is a way to be with others when the world feels so heavy and bleak.
(It’s worth acknowledging here that being a person who makes art can be a painful experience in and of itself! We see many creatives here at Kindman & Co.—those particularly empathetic, attuned, aware humans who are putting so much of themselves into the making of art. I’m not suggesting this is an easy salve!)
Seeking the Art That Holds You
I can’t tell you what art will move you right now. You’ll have to go make it or find it or experience it yourself. But this winter, I’ve been feeling cocooned, searching for art to make meaning of life. I’ve found a few gems that I’d like to share. I hope they offer you something, or some inspiration to go in search of something else that does.
Some Winter Recs for the Heavy of Heart
Sibelius’ 7th Symphony - I’m no classical music expert, but this tight little symphony feels to me like the experience of grief. The ending! So beautiful and strange.
Guiermo del Torro’s new Frankenstein movie. - Perhaps some of the most gorgeous frames of cinema I’ve seen this year, plus a moving meditation on parents and children and what kinds of expectations we have of others in our lives that both create and restrain them. (You could also go deep and read the original by Mary Shelley, who was only eighteen years old when she wrote this incredible gothic ghost story!)
Ducks, Newburyport by Lucy Ellman - Okay, okay. This book is 1000 pages and almost entirely a single sentence. But it’s easier to read than you might imagine, and I found the drone very comforting! Its narrator lives in our world, and is a wonderful representation of how we think, how we feel, and how we live in our own heads and outside of them.
Paintings by Flora Yukhnovich - If you’re in LA, these are on display for free at Hauser & Wirth Gallery in Downtown LA!
Grave of the Fireflies - This movie by Isao Takahato is extremely sad. You’ve been warned! But I think it’s a good reminder of the pain that’s been ongoing in human civilization. The grief, the devastation, the small moments and strivings that make us awfully, amazingly human.
Rosalia’s new music video and song, Berghain - This was a recommendation from a client, and wow! So vivid and surprising. In German, a line here is: ich bewahre viele Dinge in meinem Herzen auf / deshalb ist mein Herz so schwer
which translates to:
I keep many things in my heart
that’s why my heart is so heavy
♡
If something here resonated, I hope you’ll let that spark guide you toward whatever art your own heavy heart is asking for. And if you find something that moves you—share it.
We’re all trying to make meaning inside the same complicated world, and it’s a little easier when we hold the beauty (and messiness) together.
Featured therapist author:
Anna Kim is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a writer, and an adventurer. Anna works with individuals, intimate relationships, families, and groups to support growth and change. She is especially interested in grief & loss, identity & authenticity, and attachment, but appreciates all the infinite, complicated parts of being alive.
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