Losing a pet (dog, cat, fish, horse, truly any creature) is losing a major relationship in your life. You mourn what they meant. You miss their presence. Wish for their smell. Weep when you reach for them only to suddenly remember - they’re gone. It’s no different than losing a human and all the agonizing gut-wrenching aches that come with that.

While Valentine’s Day is often focused on romantic love, it’s important to remember that love exists in many forms—and all of them are equally valuable. Platonic love with friends, familial love, love for our pets, and even self-love all deserve to be recognized and honored. These aren’t just feelings to celebrate on Valentine’s Day, but every day. Especially in difficult times, nurturing love in all its forms can be a powerful way to stay grounded.

“A win is a win. That's a major win. And in the family group chat, I saw that you sent a picture of him, which was so cute. He did. He took a selfie. Yeah, because last time we were talking about how your dad is afraid to vote or he was really uncomfortable at the polls.”
“Yeah. He feels like he doesn't know enough and he would always say his vote never made a difference. So he told my older sister, even if it doesn't make a difference, I have to try. And we all just crying. Oh yeah, it was a big day for the family and I mean, yeah, he did it. So out of everything we got something”.

I’m not sure where the narrative began that avoidance and disconnecting from yourself is a bad thing. I mean, if all you are doing is avoiding life and you don’t even realize when you are doing it…yea that will likely result in some other life challenges. For myself, I actually really enjoy taking a break from my deeper thoughts and momentarily jumping out of my emotions. Intentional avoidance and distraction help us to move further away from a feeling that is daunting or overwhelming - knowing that we will process those feelings later

In our culture, mental health is often viewed through a narrow lens of pathology—focusing on individuals and their symptoms. Pain, disconnection, and despair are categorized into neat diagnoses—anxiety becomes a disorder, depression a chemical imbalance, burnout the result of poor self-management. These labels can provide temporary relief by naming what feels overwhelming, offering a sense of clarity about what is “wrong.” But this focus on individual symptoms is ultimately limiting, failing to acknowledge the broader social and cultural forces at play.

In today’s fast-paced world, where stress, anxiety, and overwhelming daily demands are all too common, finding a way to take care of your mental health can often feel like an extra chore on your to-do list. But what if self-care didn’t feel like a chore at all? What if it was fun, engaging, and—dare I say—game-like? That’s exactly the experience I had with Finch, a self-care app that combines the power of gamification with mental wellness practices to help you stay consistent and motivated in your self-care journey.

This element of secure functioning can be a bit provocative at first. “You expect me to put my relationship first?? Even above my family? My children?? My job?” Simply put, yes. Putting the relationship first doesn’t mean foregoing all other priorities, but it does mean that for both partners to feel truly stable, they must know—and more importantly, feel—that their partner prioritizes caring for their relationship above other tasks (including substances, hobbies, and, for many of us, those pesky iPhones).

In the past several weeks since the 2024 presidential election, I’ve felt myself as well as held space for feelings of frustration, division, anger, and worries about safety, rights, and personal freedoms. These issues can create a perfect storm of anxiety, grief, and fear. I’ve noticed myself moving from hopeful, to numb, to powerless especially when it seems like the problems are so big and out of our control. And then there’s confidence in our ability to make a better future peeking through as I engage with my community. It’s an interesting time to be a therapist.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on the 2016 election. I remember the night that he won, crying to my boyfriend of 7 months, saying, “We can’t have a baby while he’s in office.” He agreed, even though it felt somewhat dramatic to say since we weren’t necessarily moving towards those steps soon, but for me, it felt important.

And now? Me and my then-boyfriend have been married for 7 years (as of this week), and I’m 8 months pregnant. Fuck. It didn’t start sinking in until this summer that I may be going against what I had promised myself 8 years ago– promising that I couldn’t bring a kid into this world while someone like T*ump is in the office. It felt amoral and it felt selfish.